It has come to my attention that I wasn't particularly clear with my original rant Defending Santa. I am afraid I rushed through it, and forgot to include a couple thoughts that were floating around in my head, just didn't get included in the final draft. So, I won't feel right unless I cop to them now.
Primarily, I think I should clarify. It seems there are two different types of parents who are down with the whole "Out Santa" movement. Both types honestly do it with the best of intentions, but let's face it, that doesn't make it any less sad, or wrong. First, there are the Evangelicals and other hard-core Christians, who hate to see the so-called "commercialization" and "secularization" of Christ's birth. My friend, Marie, I think falls into this category.
TOM, however, thinks Marie belongs to the second category, which is the New Order Parent who shares every last horrible little thing with their offspring in order to "prepare them" (and possibly scare the shit out of them about growing up, considering.). Who knows, maybe Marie is both. At any rate, my rant primarily focused on that second group. And upon further reflection I find this group to be even more egregiously in need of a parental take down. You all think you are "preparing" your children for the big horrible world? You think you are giving them a leg-up by letting them in on the adult secrets? That helping them to become "adult" faster will really be in their best self-interest? Refer to my earlier post for the berating you deserve, you fucking numbskulls.
It seems to me that logic would lead you to do things like let your daughters wear make-up when they're six, or let your eighth grader start paying rent on his room or something. I mean, what's the friggin' hurry? Can't you let them be kids? Can't you trust that they will grow out of ALL their childhood innocence. And it ain't gonna be all that long before it happens.
TOM put it to me this way: Figuring out about Santa is a rite of passage. It is something you EARN, and figure out yourselves. It is solving a little mystery, and you're a better kid for it. To rob a kid of that is taking away a developmental learning experience-- and we all know how your ilk feels about making every fucking second of the day a goddamn learning experience. To sum up: You are STILL shameful for raping your child's innocence like that. That's right. You heard me. Innocence and Magic Raper.
Ok, then there is that first group, the Hard-liners out there. Which I prefer to think my friend, Marie, is a part of, and thus less willfully malicious in your shattering of the crystalline magical dreams of your little 'uns. But, I have an argument for you too, one I meant to expound upon more in my earlier post and just couldn't fit in right. (You may want to smoke a doobie to fully appreciate this argument)
Santa is a concept that children can grasp. I know that you want your children to understand the true meaning of Christmas, but let's face it, everlasting life is a pretty heady idea. It takes some time to start really appreciating the intangibles of true Christian faith. One might argue it takes until adulthood, and one may further argue that perhaps it is child-rearing itself that is that mark of adulthood (or at the very least getting past the drunk-all-the-time stage of life), for a person to truly appreciate and be able to understand the larger, more complicated concepts behind faith. But thankfully, it isn't that hard a lesson for most of us, because we felt that joy and magic and release to a higher power before, we'd already been down that road-- when WE were kids, waiting for Santa.
Santa is simply a Play-Skool version, a dress rehearsal, for true faith later in life. But kids don't understand receiving joy and love from everlasting life. Hell, they think snack time is an eternity away. Life and death aren't real concepts to them. Nor should they be.
Little kids need concrete things. That's why we don't teach them shit like algebra and philosophy in grade school. They don't have the capability to think abstractly, and then, right around the time they make it through that rite of passage of their own discovery, their brains start to get it. They start to understand higher conceptual thought. But it isn't that way for small kids. And c'mon folks, do you remember being seven? Four? It ain't that old.
For a child Santa is that representation of Christ's eternal love.
St. Nick loves all, unconditionally- sure, he warns you not to be naughty, but who among us EVER got coal (the figurative "hell") in their stocking? No one. Because our parents loved us unconditionally and forgave us, just as we learn as adults to really appreciate in a savior and ask again of him right around this time of year.
Santa brings a child a toy as a gift just as Jesus brings the gift of everlasting life in the kingdom of Heaven to adults. With the concrete display of the Santa Plan they (kiddos) can get it. And it primes them, educates them for later on. It teaches them faith in something larger, grander, more magnificent. It buries in their hearts a recognition of true abandon and joy. Those are lessons that will come in handy when they are adults and are hit with that moment where they reach for faith and are ready again to surrender to something larger than themselves. The magic and belief in Santa will be a light to shine their way home.
But no matter how hard you try to explain or how much YOU believe in those higher concepts, your kids won't understand. They'll nod and agree with you because they see that's what YOU want them to do and to them you ARE God (again, because those abstract concepts are pretty tricky early on). They only seek to please you, so they will happily say whatever you want to hear. But they'll know that the real kid reason, the reason you can touch and comprehend, to celebrate Christmas is because you get presents.
And it is not their fault! They shouldn't be shamed or guilted for that-- that's just a kid's understanding. It is a level of maturity issue-- which I suppose loops right back around to TOM's point of rite of passage. I love when thinking is circular. It is so much more whole, you know? Definitely more feminine. I always feel there is a higher truth around when a concept can fold back over itself and continue. Like truth itself is a spinning vortex, touching here, connecting to this other thing and expanding into this whole other thing you didn't think it ever would. Whoa. That 1991 acid is coming back on me a little bit. Sorry.
Ok, it is with great love that I defend Santa, for my kids sake, this holiday season. And it is with great happiness and depth of emotion that I praise and am grateful this Christmas to Jesus and God. It has been a hard fucking couple months, and who knows if it will get better anytime soon. There is a lot of need this year, a lot we can give of ourselves (since I know we're all fucking broke as hell!). But I think it will make it all the more meaningful and poignant this year as we give thanks for our families and our friends, no matter how far away they are or how long it has been since we've told them what they mean to us. And all of us partake, one more year, in the magic that is Christmas.
And I know I rant and rave and spout off-- it is my nature. I trust that you all know me well enough to know my intentions are good. I love you all no matter what, and I still believe.
Recent Comments